tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49414027449762740562011-12-21T05:46:18.908-05:00Talkin' shit about shit in IndiaSocrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.comBlogger221100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-76091623805733296972009-05-11T15:31:00.003-04:002009-05-11T15:35:54.294-04:00

So I haven't written in a while, which I will remedy, but until then, I wanted to document a song commissioned to be written about a bitch I met in Chennai. Untitled SongWell I was pretty lonelyI needed someone nearAlways felt aloneAnd then you just appeared…Now you are mine…Sometimes I just get angryMight even call you bitchNever meant nothin’ by itI’ll always scratch your itchTrash digging

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-43967405059630374772009-01-08T03:17:00.011-05:002009-01-08T16:14:45.795-05:00

Happy 2009 everyone! I made it back from my Southeast Asia trip in one piece. This was definitely a group effort, as I surely would have suffered some catastrophic fate if not for my stellar travel companions. Here was my agenda:12/20 - Arrive in Bangkok at 5:00 am.12/21 - Bangkok12/22 - Fly to Hanoi 6:55 am.12/23 - Bus/Fast boat to Cat Ba Island12/24 - Cat Ba Island to Ha Long Bay12/25 - Ha

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-48382973391599204942008-12-17T03:00:00.004-05:002008-12-17T03:13:06.560-05:00

Stealing a page from my friend at The Anti DC, I present to you the 2008 top ten key word searches for the India Poop Blog!poop blog india poop indian poop poop condom chennai shops selling foreign liquor india's poop indian comdom song indian condom song indian feceses poopblog Yes, I've definitely regressed in India, but hey, poop is always funny.

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-15519527088922582272008-12-15T08:06:00.002-05:002008-12-15T13:17:34.424-05:00

I was feeling a bit christmasy, so I put together this mix today. There are some gems on here, but I'm especially proud of finding a billy squier christmas song.

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-45741886336152270702008-12-09T15:42:00.009-05:002008-12-13T03:40:59.073-05:00

Okay. I usually try to avoid all office events (birthdays, card signings, team building) that do not involve alcohol. However, there is one North American office tradition that I find myself missing this time of year: The Yankee Swap,1Between the people vieing for the holy grail of yankee swap gifts (alcohol), the sourpuss (what happened to that word) unhappy that they got such a lousy gift,

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-59112437045019357352008-11-11T16:20:00.005-05:002008-12-13T02:38:59.533-05:00

In no particular order1) Teaching people american phrases...or phrases people think are popular american phrases.2) Getting really excited about a sub par burger.3) Being able to have your socks and underwear ironed for a dollar a day.4) Saying "I don't speak english" to street vendors in english.5) Mango shakes.6) Having conversations about whether "Marco Polo" is a superior beer to "5000".7)

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-69686815947998692602008-10-17T04:11:00.006-04:002008-12-13T02:21:29.480-05:00

Basically, ever since I arrived in India, I have been looking forward to seeing one of THE defining hair metal bands play in a country where their music is still relevant. In light of the recent events, I find this cancellation much more understandable, if not still heartbreaking. Damn you terrorists!http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1197264

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-25163804103284011992008-10-15T04:57:00.013-04:002008-12-15T06:03:54.520-05:00

One of the most infuriating things about being in Chennai is the draconian restrictions on alcohol. "Wine Shops", which are state run liquor stores, only sell Indian brands, which are both poorly made and lacking in alcohol content. Foreign alcohol is only available through luxury hotels. For any foreign made alcohol, in addition to an already high retail price, a tax 60-150% is also added.

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-14724744621530363772008-09-01T15:56:00.009-04:002008-09-01T16:35:40.389-04:00

Haven't posted in a while, but recovering from a stomach bug seems to be an opportune time to write up a quick post. Last week, I came back from my first Indian vacation, which involved a half day train trip to the opposite coast of India. Surprisingly enough, 11 hours is not the longest train ride I've taken (we will not talk about the infamous Boston-DC-North Carolina dog incident), but it was

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-41211365534823324642008-08-15T23:03:00.001-04:002008-08-15T23:03:16.210-04:00

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-83113751939728371202008-08-15T14:56:00.002-04:002008-08-15T14:59:37.094-04:00

While sexual repression in Chennai at least needs to be addressed with its own topic, I did spot this goodie at the store the other day. Honestly, who wouldn't want a bum chum to travel with?

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-24935952456577886642008-08-07T04:22:00.012-04:002008-08-08T03:32:00.242-04:00

I'm in the process right now of booking my first trip back to the US after being here in India. I'm feeling very Veruca Salt (the character not the band) about it, since I can't stop thinking about though is what food I'm going to eat. With ex-pats (in India at least), instead the typical small talk conversations about weather (its always hot here), cars (there are only really 5 types of cars),

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-16024715537180600812008-08-04T06:25:00.000-04:002008-08-04T15:46:14.792-04:00

Not to make light of the situation, but there's a serial killer on the loose here in Chennai. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com8 murders in 23 days, in a particularly gristly manner. Apparently this guy bashes in people's heads, then lights them on fire. What I wonder though is, where's the clever nickname for the killer? Isn't this what every journalist aspires to, covering a high profile

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-41555444939671737232008-08-01T07:00:00.001-04:002008-08-04T05:12:05.734-04:00

Sorry about the hiatus in posting. Its been a bit crazy with work and I experienced the joy in getting a computer back in working order with no dedicated IT staff. Yeah startups!A friend sent me this video the other day. There's a big push in India for family planning, as they're trying to deal with overpopulation by pushing the 2 child western nuclear family. If all government propaganda is

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-49153424820219289642008-07-08T03:31:00.000-04:002008-07-08T03:38:29.090-04:00

I don't think I'm quite prepared to talk about my forrays into Indian shambles yet, but I did come across this article. This is in the state I'm in, not that far away. If I get fired, at least I know I can find a job somewhere...

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-61594417212173147372008-07-03T21:47:00.000-04:002008-07-03T22:29:21.945-04:00

Last night marked my first mosquito bite in india. Now we get to see if these malaria pills I'm taking are worth the insomnia, mood swings, and nausea. Hooray! At least they aren't super mosquitos though. On a side note, mosquitos got a raw deal in Hollywood. We have Bats, Spiders, Flies, even Sheep, but the movie about Mosquitoes doesn't have a single imdb actor/actress with a headshot? Raw

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-76441044956358985622008-07-03T06:59:00.000-04:002008-07-03T12:08:18.981-04:00

For anyone who went to school in the US, we all know that from kindergarden to about 3rd grade, you wouldn't go more than a week without seeing the orange sawdust in the hall from some kid who suddenly threw up. Was he/she sick? Did they eat something bad? Are they bulimic? Did they eat the smarties with crushed glass in it? Its just one of those facts that you can't explain and just have to

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-17757948259276676212008-07-01T04:03:00.000-04:002008-07-01T07:12:37.808-04:00

Fact: Indians love the Wonders. I've heard the title song from this movie no fewer than three four times at local bars since I've been here. And also, its on the rotation of songs (along with November Rain, Angel (Shaggy), and Aerosmith (that song from the movie with the asteroid)) that play over the loud speaker of the school situated outside my office. I admit, I do enjoy this movie (Who

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-61945755741580524702008-06-30T15:25:00.000-04:002008-07-01T07:09:27.806-04:00

Thus far, my stay in Chennai has been as a friend might say "epic shambles". This is in no way Chennai's fault, but more just a continuation of the escalating series of catastrophes that preceded me coming here. Each mini-shamble is probably a story or set of stories unto itself, but life seems to be slowly returning to semi-normalacy. As normal as living in the India can be. It hasn't been

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-49289134471039009692008-06-18T14:31:00.001-04:002008-07-01T05:36:24.318-04:00

This is a picture on the door of the Pizza Hut across from work. And before you ask, no, I have not gotten a happy ending yet. Apparently "Happy Ending" is a synonym for dessert in Tamil. I know that as soon as I stop snickering when I hear it, I will know its time for me to leave.

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-66202167595076659822008-06-09T13:58:00.000-04:002008-07-01T05:36:49.390-04:00

1) People walk a lot slower here - Which is funny since cars don't stop for you2) Jobs are highly specialized - You can hire someone to tie your shoes3) Public urination isn't always funny - When you step in someone else's urine4) Riding in the front seat is scary - Video of driving in Chennai to come...5) Always be prepared for rain - Especially when your shoes are still outside

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4941402744976274056.post-73516076895874267512008-05-30T21:07:00.000-04:002008-07-01T05:37:34.526-04:00

Welcome to the new christened India Poop Blog! I'm going to be using this space to document what will at very least be a very interesting next year of my life. As of 6/6/08, I'll be spending a year in Chennai, India on an expat assignment for work. I haven't been very diligent about studying up on India, but I did manage to run across this fun fact (courtesy of the state department website):If a

Socrates Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12722865032597927654noreply@blogger.com0